Coming Home
by CaptainSwanShipper
Summary: After spending some time out of town, Hook is called over the Charmings for a favor. That favor ends up forcing him to confront his deepest, darkest, thoughts and emotions. Originally posted on my tumblr on February 6th, 2014.


_**Coming Home**_

Captain Hook stared at the door which would take him into the apartment of his in-laws. David had called him with a slight panicky tone in his voice about a half hour ago asking him for help with something. Though his preference would have been to completely steer clear, the fact that Charming was not just his in-law, but his friend, prompted him to trudge over despite his reservations.

Looking at the door now, he still felt the urge to turn back and return to his own apartment above Granny's to while away the hours with his favorite flask of rum until he blacked out.

It had been several months since Emma had perished defending Storybrooke from yet another enemy. Though defending the town had not been anything new, their most recent opponent had proven too difficult to defeat without a sacrifice...

At the thought, Hook felt a burning pain in his chest. It had become his regular companion, flaring up every time he thought of Emma's death. Doubling over and clenching his shirt over the region of his heart, Hook swore and focused on blinking away the tears that had risen unbidden to his eyes. It seemed like forever before he could relax his grip on the shirt and stand up straight. Breathing out a rattling breath, he knocked on the door, hoping to be distracted before the pain overwhelmed him again...

Charming was the one who opened the door. Taking in his friend's pained expression, he was quick to bring Hook into the apartment.

"What seems to be the problem, Dave?" Hook asked with false cheeriness as the prince closed the door behind him. Charming frowned at his terrible acting, but didn't comment. Instead, he turned to Snow and tilted his head in the dark-haired man's direction.

"We need to go talk to Eva's teacher, but we don't have a babysitter," Snow explained.

"Is it necessary for you to go together?" Hook asked carefully.

Snow huffed. "Yes. The teacher specifically asked for both of us."

Hook's eyes darted to the telephone. "Isn't Ruby available?" he wondered, recalling that the werewolf was the Charming's go-to babysitter.

"Whale finally got some time off from the hospital. They're taking advantage of it and have declared tonight their date night," Snow sighed. "We can't very well ask them to cancel it. It's been way too long since they've had some time together."

"No, we couldn't do that, now could we," Hook murmured. As he said it, a thought began to form in his mind which made him almost hyperventilate. "So why did you call me here?" he asked cautiously, trying to control his breathing.

Snow looked him straight in the eye, with no hesitation. "We want you to watch the kids. We won't be gone long."

Hook's face took on a completely panicked look. "I...I don't think that's a good idea," he told them, backing toward the door. There was no way. He _couldn't_.

"Sure it is!" Charming stated, throwing his arm around his son-in-law's shoulder and bringing him back to the middle of the room with a big smile on his face. "Don't worry. Like Snow said, we won't be gone too long."

"What about Henry? Surely he'd be willing to take care of them," Hook cajoled in a last ditch effort to change their minds.

"Henry went with Regina on a trip out of town," Charming answered.

Snow nodded as she picked up her sweater from the back of a nearby chair. "The kids are both asleep. You have nothing to worry about."

"They sleep like...well, like they're under the sleeping curse," Charming joked with a hearty pat on the back as he left the former pirate staring at him, dumbfounded, in the middle of the room. Snow made her way to the door and her husband opened it and ushered her through. Hook snapped out of his reverie and stepped forward to try and stop them, but he was too late. The door shut before he even took a second step. Darting to it, he ripped it open to shout at them to come back, but they'd already gotten into the elevator. With a sinking stomach, he returned and stared blindly at the room, completely at a loss as to what to do.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Charming whispered to his wife as they headed out of the building.

Snow pulled the lapels of her sweater together and crossed her arms, looking at him somberly. "No," she told him, "But it had to be done."

The prince shook his head with a crooked, sad smile. "To think the woman who claimed honesty was the best policy just made me lie to our own son-in-law."

Snow turned her face to his, her expression melancholy and her eyes shimmering. "Hook was right. Sometimes you have to lie to someone if it's in their best interest. He has to know, Charming."

Charming nodded and looked at the night sky. "It's what Emma would have wanted," he murmured as a tear slid down his face.

Snow, tears flowing down her own face, gave a watery smile and reached up to wipe the tear off his cheek. "Yeah," she whispered.

Her husband looked down at her at the hushed comment. "Yeah," he responded, just as quietly. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the top of her head as they walked down the street toward their daughter's school.

After several minutes of standing like a statue, Hook had decided to fall back on his favorite habit to hopefully pass the time until Snow and Charming returned-drinking himself into oblivion. Ever since he'd left the rehab center that had helped him recover from his injuries from the battle that had claimed Emma, he'd more often than not found himself drinking flask after flask of rum.

His flask was halfway to his lips when he heard it.

A plaintive whimper. Hook dismissed it as his imagination, but then he heard it again, louder, and froze. No. It couldn't be...

"Mama?" the little voice called. Hook's blood chilled in his veins. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back against the couch and lowered his flask. Swallowing the sudden lump in his throat, he prayed it would end there.

It didn't.

"Mama?" came the cry again, a little louder this time.

"Please don't," Hook whispered painfully.

"Mama!" the child shouted again, a sob ringing in the single word. "Mama, _Mama_, _**MAMA**_!"

Knowing he couldn't avoid it any longer, or else risk the other peacefully slumbering child waking, Hook stood hesitantly.

"_Mamaaaaa!_"

Striding in the direction of the wail, Hook paused outside the door, listening to the sobs coming from the opposite side. Closing his eyes, he pressed his hand against the wood and braced himself for what he knew he had to do. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door a crack, hoping that maybe the little one had fallen asleep again...

"Mama?" came a hopeful voice.

Steeling himself against the pain he knew he'd see on his son's face when he realized that Mama hadn't come, Hook stepped into the room and quietly shut it behind himself.

"I'm sorry, Liam," he told the red-faced, teary-eyed toddler in the crib, his eyes burning at what he'd have to say next, "Mama's not coming."

"I WANT MAMAAAA!" the child screamed, his face getting even blotchier.

"Please, son," Hook begged, "You'll wake Eva."

"Mammmaaaaa!" Liam cried, slapping his little hands against the side of the crib.

Hook swallowed, tears burning his eyes, understanding the boy's clear distress because he'd found himself wanting to react the same way after Emma had died and he'd woken up without her. Walking to the side of the crib, he looked down at the sobbing child's eyes...so much like his mother's...and just like that, Hook was transported to the last time he'd seen such despair and utter anguish in a pair of hazel eyes...

He'd been sitting on the ground, severely injured from battle. Snow and Charming had been holding him up, all three of them watching as Emma fought her newest opponent. She'd managed to knock them down multiple times, but they'd kept coming back. Finally, as the enemy had been regenerating, her shoulders had dropped and she'd turned back to look at them. With one last glance at the evil being, Emma had suddenly turned and run to them.

"Rumpelstiltskin was right," she'd told them, tears rolling down her face as she fell to her knees in front of them, her eyes showing complete despondence. "There's only one way to defeat him."

"Emma, NO!" Snow had shouted, reaching for her daughter, "You _can't_, there has to be another way!"

"But we don't have time to find it," Emma had said, her voice wavering.

"Emma, _don't_," Charming had stressed, his face twisting with anguish.

"I have to," she'd sobbed. Suddenly lurching forward, she'd grabbed all three of them into a hug before she'd taken Hook's face between her hands.

"Take care of Liam and Henry," she'd told him, despair in her hazel eyes, before pressing a hard kiss against his lips. "I love you," she'd whispered as she'd pulled away from him.

"Emma, love, _please_," he'd begged, grabbing her hands in desperation, "Don't do this. _Please_. I love you! I can't imagine a life without you!"

"I know," she'd said with a teary smile, "But you have to, for Liam and Henry." And then she'd stood and run toward the newly formed enemy without any hesitation.

"_**EMMA, NO!**_" the three of them had screamed in unison, their voices merging into hysterics. Hook had moved forward as much as he could with his injuries while Snow and Charming had stood and raced after their daughter. But she'd been too fast. They'd gotten about half the distance before the explosion had thrown them backwards. The blast had been so powerful, it had made Hook black out. The next thing he'd known, he'd been in the hospital. He'd spent several weeks there recuperating before being moved to the rehab center. Nightmares about Emma had plagued him the entire time, from hospital to rehab. And after he'd gotten out of the latter, he hadn't been able to bear returning to the town or seeing his son. So he'd run. Found a boat at the harbor and sailed away. He'd returned when the guilt over leaving her parents in mourning had become too much.

Now, looking at the son he'd practically abandoned after Emma's death, hating himself for doing exactly the same thing his own father and his sworn enemy Rumpelstiltskin had done, he knew what he had to do. He wouldn't repeat their mistakes. Or let Emma's last wish go unfulfilled.

Hook reached down carefully and lifted his son out of the crib. Liam fought him the whole way, tiny fists pummeling his chest as he wriggled in fury and continued crying. Hook couldn't help but feel that he deserved every hit, considering how he'd failed to save Emma.

He didn't even notice the tears sliding down his face as he sank to the ground with his little boy in his arms. He held his baby boy close and shakily stroked Liam's hair with the prosthetic hand he'd asked for when he'd found out Emma was pregnant. He'd wanted to be able to help with caring for their child, changing diapers, giving baths...he'd never thought...

"I'm sorry, Liam," he whispered in the toddler's ear, "I'm sorry I couldn't save your Mama." He choked back a sob of his own. "And I'm sorry I was gone for so long. But Papa's here, now. Papa will always be here for you."

A sniffle escaped the child. "Pa-pa?" he hiccuped hesitantly.

Hook gave a watery chuckle. "Yes, Papa. I love you, my little pirate. And Papa's not going anywhere."

"Papa," Liam whispered, his tiny fingers curling into Hook's shirt as he pressed his face against his chest.

Hook felt an overwhelming sense of wonder and awe as his son's breathing deepened and he fell asleep in his arms. Kissing Liam's forehead and rubbing his back, the former pirate stood slowly. Although the child was now comfortably snoozing, Hook didn't want to put him back in his crib just yet. Looking at the door, he came to a decision.

Wandering over to the doorway, he carefully shifted his dark-haired son to his shoulder and opened the door. Leaving it open, he walked down the hallway back to the couch where he'd formerly been sitting. His eyes caught sight of the flask he'd placed on the coffee table, and switched between it and the slumbering child in his arms. Making a decision, he picked it up and headed to the kitchen. Putting it in the refrigerator, he took a pen off the counter and wrote a short note to Charming on a nearby pad of paper, granting him permission to enjoy the flask as long as necessary.

When the note was finished, Hook went back to the couch and eased down onto it. Considering the length of it, he decided to stretch out on it more fully. With his head on one of the couch's pillows, and his son's head on his chest, he found himself remembering what it had been like when Liam was first born...

An hour later, Snow and Charming returned to the apartment. When they opened the door, they found the pirate snoring on the couch, Liam giving his father's snores a run for their money with his little fists clenched in Hook's shirt. The couple smiled and looked at each other contentedly. Quietly walking by the sleeping duo, they headed down the hall to their daughter's room and checked on her before heading to their own room. They'd wake Hook in the morning...


End file.
